In my humble opinion destiny is the situation that comes to us, which are beyond our control. But our response to those situations is our choice/ freewill.
For example:
We didn’t choose our father ( 9th House).We were destined; that was our destiny; we were born.
We didn’t choose our appearance/ looks (1st House).
We didn‘t choose our children (5th House).
So situations are destiny. We didn’t choose them, they came to us.
Another Example:
If someone comes and insult you, you didn’t choose it, it came to you. This situation is destined. But your response to those situations is your choice/ freewill. What you choose is your choice/ freewill and once you choose it, that will decide your future destiny.
That’s why it is told that “Man is the maker of his own destiny”.
But don't you think that even our response is destined in some way.
For eg. If someone insults you, you may insult/fight back with him if you have heavy influence of Mars energy. On the other hand, you may not fight back with him if you are more influenced by Jupiter/Saturn which gives patience & maturity....so even our response to situations may be destined in some way...
Agree with you